Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Banishing the question

What woman hasn’t at least once experienced this scenario?

Friend or acquaintance: How are you doing?
You: I’m doing well. I was feeling kind of sick yesterday but seem to have bounced back.
Friend or acquaintance: Sure you’re not pregnant?

The next response varies by person but honestly I wonder why this exchange is socially acceptable in the first place.

This is just one woman's opinion, but am I the only one that is reminded of line from Kindergarten Cop when the “sure, you’re not pregnant” question pops up?

Only when the pregnant question comes up there’s no cute five-year-old or actor with an amusing accent to diffuse the tension.

And who really wants to announce their pregnancy in response to an inquiry like that? Personally, I think, engagement and pregnancy announcements should be something that each person has the right to stage and enjoy their moment in the sun for. Has anyone ever actually answered “well, yes, I am indeed pregnant thank you for offering me the opportunity to tell you” to the question? I'm guessing no.

If someone isn’t pregnant and has been trying that question can be like a stab to the heart. I know as someone who has been trying unsuccessfully for awhile now, I personally try to quickly put up my defenses and plaster on a smile and some joke to move the conversation swiftly along. When you are trying without success to become pregnant it can feel like every little comment is a direct commentary and slam to your lack of conception. I try to cut a wide range of slack because I realize I’m projecting my own issues and that odds are the other person had no intention to be hurtful, but it still stings.

Regardless of if you have kids or are pregnant or are somewhere else on the spectrum, can we all just agree the lame “Sure you’re not pregnant” question needs to be banished along with the likes of assuming someone is pregnant and asking when they are due, asking when someone is going to get married and asking when you're going to start trying for Baby No. 2?

I realize I am not going to be able to eradicate this question from conversation so instead I’ve begun compiling a list of responses to have at the ready.

Am I the only one driven batty by this question? What is the best response you’ve ever heard or used?

Jennifer Erickson is a Sr. Public Relations Specialist with Texas Health Resourceswho is hoping that her time to be a Mom will come soon.

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