Seventeen

Our journey of adopting has led us down a path that my husband and I never could have dreamed. When we started a few years ago, we both had a very unreasonable and dreamy vision of being able to adopt rather quickly.  

We submitted our home study seventeen times with our placement agency to various agencies in our region.  We were in the middle of an emotional tug of war that was starting to wear upon me. While I tried my best to stop thinking about each child’s biography and photo that was shared with us as a possible adoption, their biographies and their faces are etched in my memory still to this day.  

I started to give up hope that we would ever adopt. It had gotten to the point my husband and I started thinking this wasn’t meant to be.  As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I started believing it myself.  We both agreed that when we returned from our family vacation we would make a decision if we should continue trying to adopt.

A few days before we were to leave for our family vacation, I received an email from our placement agency who knew of two amazing children (David 13 yrs old and Grace 10 yrs old) who needed a family, forever.   When we left for vacation, we asked to learn more about them to help us determine if we could provide them the best home. We believe we must make sure this is the best match for us and for David and Grace.

Once we returned back from our vacation, we heard it was too late to say yes to adopt David and Grace, our chance had passed.

A few days later, I received a call that if we wanted to adopt David and Grace we would have to go through the same process like we did with the other home study submissions.  As you can imagine, our track record has not be stellar. We agreed that we would submit our home study and wait. 

Once we submitted our home study, the case worker for David and Grace said she would review it over the weekend and pick her top 4 families and notify them Monday.  Well, Monday came and went and there wasn’t any communication to us that we were chosen. 

 It was Thursday morning when I received the call that we are in the top four families to adopt them both. The next steps were to review our Life Book, ask questions and then a decision would be made on the best family for David and Grace.  Our placement agency went and shared our Life Book and asked questions on our behalf (I had 25 questions) to learn as much as we could.    

While driving home from the office, I received a call at 5:40pm. Our placement agency called and shared that we were adopting David and Grace! 

As soon as I arrived home, I texted, emailed, and called everyone in our family and extended family to tell them to good news. Everyone knew but my husband because he was working late and this was something I didn’t want to tell him over the phone.

I decided to let our two boys tell him the great news that we were adopting. They creatively came up with the idea to sing the news to him. It’s even odder that they actually agreed on something without arguing!  While my husband tiredly entered the house with laptop and keys in hand, he was attacked by two kids belting out “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” He was just as confused as I was over the music selection given that it was early November. However, after persuading him to let the kids finish singing, he heard the boys sing “…we got David and Grace!"

While I haven’t met my children yet, there is already a unique sense of love and protection I feel for them already.  As I told my two children who have seen us foster over the years, bringing home David and Grace is forever. There are no take backs; we are together as a family, forever.

Read more of Christy's posts about her foster parenting journey here. 

Christy Benson is the director of Clinical Informatics Analysis & Measurement for Texas Health Resources, Mom to two boys, and Foster Mom.