Volunteer Overload

Moms, it’s that time of the year. Schools are gearing up for fundraisers, churches are doing their fairs and carnivals, and there are not enough hours in the day to do what needs to get done.

There’s a saying that if you want something done, ask a busy person. They are more likely to finish the task. But as the one who is always being asked, are you finding it hard to say no?

I have to admit. Sometimes it’s easier to say yes. Sometimes I think, “OK, just this one thing” which always ends up being a series of more tasks. And the person doing the asking is just as busy as I am.

The one year baby itch

1-month-old Jake

I should really preface this with a disclaimer: my husband and I don’t have plans for another baby at this time. It’s just not practical right now.

But it seems my hormones, or whatever inner primal biological mechanism is responsible, would like to dispute that plan.

It started when Jake was about 9 months old as a rumbling of a feeling that began to crescendo. I had dream after dream about being pregnant or going into labor. I started imagining pregnancy symptoms each month. And every time I see a Mom at the hospital holding her newborn close to her chest, I feel a longing so strong it hurts.

The baby book

I admit it, I am a planner. I really like to be productive and check things off the list. I have to confess, though, there is one item I have not gotten to circle back to since Shelby was a couple of weeks old: her baby book. 

I made sure I had it in my hospital suitcase so we could capture her very first footprints. Check. Made it to the hospital and home with the book and footprints. Also have all of our hospital bracelets that mark the record of us all being there that will go in the book. 

When I was on maternity leave for 12 weeks the book was one of my “to dos” on the list before I returned to work. I did send off for hard copies of the gazillion photos we took those first 8-10 days and I wrote down some key details in the book, like when I went into labor, when she arrived, our first night home, etc.  Since that day it has sat in the box that it came in just glaring at me. Taunting me. And now, my daughter is nine and a half months old and I still have not returned to it yet!

Mother's intuition helps shape care of preemies

Kate and NICU nurse Lesa Gabbert

Kate McCasland’s premature birth 18 years ago made a difference for all preemies who have since come through the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) at Texas Health Harris Methodist Hospital Fort Worth.

With the support of Kate’s caregivers, Mom Jane McCasland tried a simple technique she saw on a television documentary set in Africa to help with Kate’s progress. Kangaroo Mother Care, a now often-used method that involves simple skin-to-skin contact between mom and baby, provides a number of benefits including regulation of baby’s temperature and heartbeat and promotion of breastfeeding.

Today, on Kate’s 18th birthday, she and her mother were reunited with the doctors and nurses who cared for Kate while she was in the NICU.

Teaching my daughter to be well

I’m not exactly a couch potato.  But I’m not the picture of fitness, either.  My fitness regime tends to come in spurts – either I’m doing a 60-day hot yoga challenge, burning 1,000 calories per workout, five times a week, or I’m doing…well…not much of anything except trying to stay afloat while juggling life, work, and motherhood and still maintaining some semblance of rest and well-being in my own life.

The great thing about yoga is that, in addition to being the best workout I’ve ever done, it brings a sense of balance, calm, strength and flexibility – externally and internally.  There is a level of determination I reach in each workout that is therapeutic.  In that moment, I know that I am fully invested in something that is just for me.  And in the hectic world that is my life, moments like those are rare.

How becoming a stepmom changed the way I watch football

In June 2012, I had the privilege of becoming a stepmom to an amazing 15-year-old. He’s a carbon-copy of his dad at that age. I can say this with complete certainty because I met my husband when I was 12. We had lockers next to each other every year from 7th through 12th grades.

I’m an avid football fan and always have been. I’m one of those people you’ll hear yelling, "Get him!" "Crush them!" "Where were you going?" "Did you bring your brain to the game?" You get the picture. Many who know me have found this behavior baffling since I tend to remain a sensible and calm person in most all other parts of my life. But reason is suspended for the four quarters of a football game, and I would become one of the screaming masses.

Simple thanks on Thanksgiving

I packed up the kiddos and we headed into Fort Worth to attend our first foster/adoption Thanksgiving dinner this week.

It was a room filled with hundreds of families from our placement agency and our boys were quite excited to stay out a bit late on a school night and have the chance to hang out with other children. As you can see from the photo, it was nearly 40 degrees and the kids are a smiling and giving thumbs up!

It was nice to meet other families who were foster parents hoping to adopt as well. I had small conversation with other foster moms and we shared our stories. It was a sense of therapy for both of us I think given the great sensitivity and veil of privacy we have.

Be careful hanging those holiday lights!

One of my favorite Thanksgiving traditions – a close second to scarfing down my Mom’s delicious green bean casserole – is hauling out the Christmas decorations! I’ll never forget the year we attempted to hang our outdoor Christmas lights ourselves. It was that peak at the top of the garage that really got us. As the wind picked up, our confidence plummeted, and we wisely decided that lighting the second half of the house wasn’t worth our anxiety or risk involved.

As it turns out, fall injuries are a common cause of trips to the ER during the holidays. Dr. Terence McCarthy, emergency physician on the medical staff at Texas Health Harris Methodist Hospital Fort Worth, offers tips on how to safely deck your halls:

A Pinspired first birthday

I had great intentions for Jake’s first birthday: a handful family members, a smash cake, and a camera. Low maintenance yet memorable. Uncomplicated.

But these things have a way of snowballing right under you. For some reason, I didn’t really think anyone besides my family would be interested in coming, until my best friend mentioned she really wanted to be there. So then my brain scampered off down a rabbit trail of inner conundrums and self-imposed stress about party throwing options – would other friends want to come? Where would I cut off the guest list? Do I have enough room in my home? What about friends with kids, what activities would I have for them? What should the theme be? Wouldn’t it be even more memorable with a cute theme and homemade decorations?

And then, even knowing it was a dangerous move, I let the lover-of-all-things-creative in me answer the siren call of Pinterest’s procession of party planning goodness. There was no reigning me in at that point. “Low maintenance” was officially tossed out the door.

In the end I did decide it was best to leave the guest list really small: a handful of family members, my best friend, and one of Jake’s baby friends who is the daughter of my friend/co-worker. This was a good move on my part because my normally very social baby boy seemed a little scared at first by the amount of people there focused on him.

And now, some Pinspired projects:

I made the birthday banner on the wall using scrapbook paper and ribbon themed with owls, trees, and fall leaves. I’d decided the party theme would be autumn/owl/woodland. It’s inspired by a few different ones I found on Pinterest.

Autumn-themed food descriptor set in a pine cone. Delicious pumpkin hummus recipe. We also had “twigs and berries” (pretzel sticks were the twigs) and s’mores that we made on an outdoor portable fire pit.

I had 13 balloons, each for months 0 – (almost) 12 of Jake’s life, with a photo of him during that time tied to the end and a leaf-shaped label. I saw this done on Pinterest for someone’s wedding anniversary, with each balloon carrying a photo from each year they’d been married.

Owl lantern lights. The idea was mine, but I found the pattern for the owl faces and the idea for using cupcake holders as wings from things I saw on Pinterest.

Owl and fall leaf cupcakes. (From a bakery.)

Baby photos:

My little man loved his cake.

I love this shot of Jake walking with his new wagon walker and me in the background being an overenthusiastic clapping Mommy.

It turned out to be a great day for everyone. Though I’d spent many a late night working on my projects, I was happy with how they turned out and I loved making his day special. I will treasure them forever.

What did you do for your child’s first birthday? Did you keep it small and simple or did you throw a big celebration?

Megan Brooks is a Sr. Public Relations Specialist for Texas Health Resources, Stepmom to a 12-year-old, and Mom to a 12-month-old.

Our first trip to the ER

Much like almost everything that has happened in the last 20 months of parenthood, our first trip to the ER with Elliot was nothing like what I expected. The reason for this can be easily traced to the fact that I watch too much TV and tend to base my expectations of real life on what I’ve seen. For instance, the night Lauren gave birth, I envisioned us rushing to the hospital, Lauren screaming in the passenger seat to hurry or the baby may have to be delivered in the car. In reality we sat around the house for hours, not sure if she was actually in labor, then calmly drove to Texas Health Dallas and had a very serene birth experience.

You’d think I would have learned my lesson about over-dramatizing life events … but no.

Turkey time

Growing up my Mom was the quintessential stay-at-home Mom helping with class art projects, being homeroom Mom, going on field trips, leading Girl Scouts, etc. She also was the queen of crafty projects around the holidays having a treat at the ready.

As an adult, I’ve taken her lead and surprised my workplaces occasionally with treats from projects past. One of those is candy turkeys at Thanksgiving. Countless candy turkey posts have floated around Pinterest, but I have to say I like these the best. Why? Because they are easy. So, so easy. Like a turkey done in less than a minute easy. And if you’re making for a group that means you could have treats for the whole class done and cleaned up in less than an hour. And who doesn’t need an easy project around the holidays?

Adjusting expectations

Upon Amanda’s arrival, I felt something deep inside that something didn’t feel quite right about her. I can’t explain it. You can call it instinct, intuition, but there is a feeling that Mothers have when they know something isn’t quite right with their child that only Moms can sense. I shared my concern that I felt something wasn’t quite right with others who made the placement but they assured me, she’s perfect!

The piercing of the ears

A mother always says she never wants to see her child in pain, so when I put my child in a painful situation a couple of weeks ago, I felt a bit guilty. But now that it’s over, I don’t feel so bad (I’m sure Nandi would look at me crazy, thinking, “Yeah, that’s easy for you to say!”). Nevertheless, my baby girl looks even more beautiful with her birthstones sparkling in her ears.

The experience was far from easy, and I’m just glad she won’t remember what Mama and Daddy put her through, all in the name of beauty.

Dress Up Your Thanksgiving Dinner with a Healthy Twist

Thanksgiving day is typically associated with juicy turkey, mom’s best side dishes, and grandma’s pumpkin pie. It’s a day dedicated to family, friends, and indulging in our favorite holiday foods. However, this day does not have to be as high in calories as most people think. Without getting rid of your traditional family favorites, you can implement some healthy twists to make your basic dishes nutritious as well as delicious!

Casseroles are common Thanksgiving dishes that are typically laden with fat and high in calories. However, with a couple of recipe twists, your casserole can slim down and still taste just as great. One way to do this is to substitute a vegetable casserole for a traditional, high-fat casserole. Vegetables are low in calories yet high in nutrients and thus great fillers for a traditional casserole.

Listen to your mothers

I’m not a big fan of help — never have been. I’ve been pouring my own milk in my cereal since I was about 3 years old, thank you very much. And if something’s wrong with the TV or any one of the half-dozen gaming and/or sound systems connected to it, don’t call my husband to fix it. I’ve got it under control.

Until it comes to being a mom. Then I need all the help I can get.

There is nothing like the joy, the challenge, the exasperation of preparing two tiny human beings to be contributing members of society. The longer I contemplate this, the more I realize that it truly does take a village. And (no surprise here) the villagers who’ve provided me the most help are mothers who have a few more years’ experience on me.

Birthday ups and downs

There are so many great things about being a mother. My favorite is knowing that there is a little person out there that loves you unconditionally. Whenever you see him, you are instantly in a better mood (unless he is screaming uncontrollably, then you just want to cry with him). My least favorite part of being a mother is the dreaded planning and implementing of a birthday party. Talk about horrible. Now granted there are some great memories that come from birthdays, such as balloons, cake, family, and friends. There are some aspects of a birthday party that are not so great, and it was not until I became a mother that I realized this.

Sense of Humor at 38 Weeks

Last weekend, right at 38 weeks, my husband and I strolled through Sam’s Club Warehouse, partially looking to make a decision on getting a membership and partially to see if we could get this kid moving into the “ready” position for birth with a little walking. What we came out with was a story I’m certain my husband will be sharing for years to come – as a matter of fact, it’s already “immortalized” on Facebook.

As we are strolling through the frozen foods testing samples, we come up this unassuming older lady with some frozen tortilla rolls.

The Story of Sebastian

Recently, we moved from the home that our daughter has known since she was almost three years old. Breaking the news of the move to her was not pleasant, so we knew the week of the move wouldn’t be any better.

I wasn’t really sure how to approach the situation, but had read that giving her something new to focus on would be a good idea. I agreed. My husband and I decided we needed to talk things over to figure out what that new focus would be. We solicited several suggestions from friends and family who mentioned everything from a new chore to having her help decorate her new space.

How to entertain your toddler – and yourself

My husband and I usually go all out for theme parties, so it’s no surprise we do the same for our children. Every once in a while we like to pick a fun activity to do with our four-year-old son, Max, and make it a theme night – something he can really get into.

Max loves trains and cars more than anything in the world, but of course not everything can be about trains and cars, so we use these theme nights as a way to broaden his horizon a little; to show him there’s more to life than transportation!

Someday

At a recent event celebrating the engagement of friends, I found myself watching the groom’s parents. They were relishing the fact that their son is engaged to be married and that he was surrounded by such good friends.

We got to hear stories about our friend’s childhood; about how proud the parents are that he made such good, close friendships over his lifetime. At the party, there was a great mix of people he knew since he was six-years-old to college roommates and friends he’s made as a full-fledged grown up.

A fear of finger foods

The first time we fed my 11-month-old homemade carrot baby food that was slightly less than smooth, he gagged and catapulted it right back up. I think that scarred us a bit.

Since then we’ve been diligent about preparing his food to be the right smoothness. But as he approaches a year old, pops out new teeth and shows off brilliant fine motor skills, I feel like he needs to graduate to finger foods pretty soon here. As I prepare to wean him from breast milk and switch to cow's milk I’d really like to expand his diet.

Simple toys work the best

In her previous post, foster Mom Christy Benson shared about how they learned of an emergency placement of a 15-month-old girl who arrived two hours after the phone call telling them about her.

As soon as the Investigator and our placement agency left our house, I found myself in the middle of Wal-Mart at 11:30pm with Amanda wide awake in the cart. Usually at 11:30pm, I am fast asleep in bed but this time, it was just the two of us trying to stock up on baby stuff to make it through the night. I didn’t have time to be selective and compare prices, brands or read consumer reports on toddler beds. It was late, I was tired and I wanted to get a few essentials and go home quickly.