Letter to my four-month-old

My dear sweet girl,

How is it possible you are already four months old? The time is flying by. It seems like each day now brings a new milestone. In one day recently you both officially rolled over and had your first giggle. I say officially because it doesn’t truly count for the record books until both your Dad and I see it.

Now you’re grasping for toys, holding your head up like a champ, starting to “talk,” wiggling to sit up whenever you’re held and not too tired or eating. I can practically see your brain synapses firing as you are learning at an incredible rate. You glance around the room categorizing each thing and studying new objects. Things are starting to go into your mouth aside from that pesky thumb you found several weeks ago. It is thrilling to watch and yet I worry, can I keep up?

Just the six of us

Our kitchen table was covered in markers, crayons, and a huge brightly colored poster board that I believe could glow in the dark because it’s so blinding.  Our youngest biological son was prepared to make the best welcome home sign for his new siblings with a little help from me with his spelling.

As we sat down at and created a welcome home sign we talked about what we might do when we arrived at their foster home. I explained to him again that we were adopting them, and it’s not like foster care which we had done for years. This time, they’d never leave and they would have our same last name in six months.  He was so excited and said he finally had a sister that he could share his afterschool snack with at aftercare like the other children who have siblings. This was his highlight, somebody to share his snacks with!

Lordy, lordy—I’m turning 40!

In a couple of weeks, I hit a couple of big milestones. The first is that I turn 40. The second is the 10-year anniversary of the death of my younger brother Fred.

Give me a second and I’ll tell you what one has to do with the other.

My brother died unexpectedly of an aneurysm around the date of my 30th birthday. The two are forever linked. But my brother’s death is also tied to one of the happiest moments of my life: We discovered we were pregnant with T. a few hours before we received the dreaded phone call.

My brother was a great guy. He loved life and loved participating in things that made him happy. He was a great friend and sibling who was there for anyone who needed him. He could see the best in a situation and made sacrifices to become a better person. (Don’t get me wrong—the man was not a saint. But even Mother Theresa had bad days.)

Second Time Mom (Six Years Later)

When my husband and I decided we wanted to try for another baby, it was kind of a huge deal.

Our decision was not only bringing another life into this world but adjusting to the almost six years we had been out of the loop with the baby stage.  It was somewhat intimidating to our nice little comfort zone we had created.

Now, it’s a year later and here we are! We made it through the first four months with having a new baby (Gracey) in the house!  It has truly been different than 6 ½ years ago.

The day that changed my life

Labor Day 2012 will make it (almost) two years since my life changed.

On Labor Day 2010 (Sept 6th) we had wonderful plans to spend the holiday with good friends and their kids.  We had major plans for a tennis match, BBQ, and some swimming.  We were to play our tennis match early to beat the heat and get a jump start on the rest of our festivities.  My husband and I are a competitive couple, and the friends we were playing against are as well.  So as I tied up my laces on my tennis shoes, I was psyching myself up for the game.