Thursday, November 29, 2012

The one year baby itch

1-month-old Jake
I should really preface this with a disclaimer: my husband and I don’t have plans for another baby at this time. It’s just not practical right now.

But it seems my hormones, or whatever inner primal biological mechanism is responsible, would like to dispute that plan.

It started when Jake was about 9 months old as a rumbling of a feeling that began to crescendo. I had dream after dream about being pregnant or going into labor. I started imagining pregnancy symptoms each month. And every time I see a Mom at the hospital holding her newborn close to her chest, I feel a longing so strong it hurts.

Luckily, my brain knows better. We don’t have the space in our home or the extra money in our pockets to expand the family. I try to bring myself back down to Earth by scrolling through a mental reel of The Real World of Parenting moments: throwing up from acid reflux while pregnant…waking up several times a night for feedings…pumping what felt like constantly…changing a gazillion diapers a day…taking two hours to get ready to leave the house…

But when they fall asleep on your chest, it sure is the greatest feeling…

I’ll admit, too, that my itch found a bit of relief during the past month or so as Jake has suddenly become mobile and is in to everything. Somehow the idea of adding an additional kid to this mix seemed impossibly exhausting, even to my inner primal whatever. Moms who do this (and more), and I know many do, hats off to you! Seriously, you rock.

Maybe the itch will rally and return with a vengeance at some point. Maybe it will fizzle out from here. Either way, the case isn’t entirely closed on the idea of another baby for us – it’s just not on the table for the moment. You never know what the future holds and we’ve still got time to figure things out. Plus, if parenting has taught me anything, it’s that life throws plenty of curve balls into your family plan.

Did you experience a one year baby itch?

Megan Brooks is a Sr. Public Relations Specialist for Texas Health Resources, Stepmom, and Mom to a 1-year-old.

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