You and the quest to have you have taught me so much already.
You’ll figure this out when you arrive, or maybe you already have, but I’ve always been the one who likes to control situations and to plan things out in-depth and your Daddy has always been the one to urge rest and relaxation to be built in. It’s that way whether it is planning out our weekends, a trip to Spain or having you.
Aside from wondering whose athletic abilities you’ll get, one of the things we’ve been most curious about is whose temperament you would take or if you’d be a nice mixture of the two of us. Already, we’ve certainly gotten glimpses of how you might be.
From the beginning you’ve totally defied logic and tested the boundaries every single step of the way. We’d tried for more than two years before you finally decided it was time to come to us. You shocked us, truly shocked us, when we found out about you. The odds were not in your favor. But you were stubborn and held on and thrived.
And as you grew we started quickly noticing a pattern.
You, my dear, have had a mind of your own from the get go. It has entertained your Grandparents and family friends and simultaneously entertained and driven Mommy and Daddy to distraction.
None of the regular morning sickness remedies worked for you – it was Sour Patch Kids and that was it. You resisted giving us early confirmation of if you were a girl or a boy. You cooperated to a degree when checking your crucial development, but flat out refused to let them measure your brain, going so far as to be literally shaking your head side to side like you were saying no and keeping it tilted where they couldn’t see for quite awhile. It meant we got to see you longer so your Daddy and I laughed along at the antics that day.
You forced me to take it easy and rest, to give up some tasks I normally do and ask for help a lot more than usual.
The nurses who have to find your heartbeat at each appointment now shake their heads when they see Mommy come in knowing that you race away as fast as possible to avoid the Doppler. You've made a game of letting them get a second of your heartbeat, alleviating Mommy’s concerns, but not enough to be a true measure without chasing you around.
And finally, as we are nearing the end of this pregnancy you seem intent not to want to flip to get ready to come. I shouldn’t be surprised that my daughter has decided she’s comfy where she is and not ready to make that change. You’re breech and testing my sentiments that I don’t care how you arrive as long as it is safely. Meanwhile, the clock for you to turn in time rapidly ticks away. You’re taking the control and basically laughing at me. I have a feeling that this won’t be the last battle of the wills we have.
Entertainingly enough I’m still somewhat OK with it. Perhaps that’s because this pregnancy with you has taught me what no one else has in 33-plus years, that sometimes giving up control on big stuff like this is OK. Would I like you to flip and do what everyone wants? Absolutely. Do I know you’ll do what you want and we’ll figure out plan B, C or D depending on what the situation dictates? Yep. While I’d love for the remainder of this pregnancy and your arrival to go perfectly naturally and without drama, you clearly have the reins and I’m just along for the ride.
So for now at least, I’m choosing to be amused by your stubbornness and enjoy the feeling of freedom that this lack of control creates. I just have one plea if you don't mind. All I ask is that you make it through the last few weeks and your arrival safely and however you come is fine by me.
Love,
Your Mommy
Jennifer Erickson is a Sr. Communications Specialist with Texas Health Resources who is almost 36 weeks pregnant with a baby girl who is likely going to be a handful.
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