Take Me Back To The Day

My husband recently sent me this picture that he had come across.

Instantly it took me back to 2001 when I met the love of my life. Wow, has it really been 13 years ago that we met? Looking at that picture I was thinking that was a whole life ago. It certainly seems that way.

Organizing tips from a party of six

This post is a continuation of the journey of the Benson family to adopt two children. Read more of their journey through fostering and adoption here. 

It was within the first week of David and Graces’ arrival when the reality of having a family of six hit me smack in the face!

I found myself facing mounds of laundry that I swear was multiplying on its own and covering the hallway that led to my laundry room.  To make things worse, I found myself facing an empty refrigerator which had been raided by four growing children and I didn’t have the courage or strength to tow four hungry children through Kroger.  Not to mention the house was in total disarray and the thought of CPS or the State popping up to just check in didn’t help my nerves much.

“No birthday cake for me, thank you”

After recently celebrating my daughter’s one-year birthday, I am realizing all over again that my children are growing up faster than I’d like. I’m also noticing that my youngest is becoming a finicky eater, just like her big sister.

For Talia’s birthday, we had colorful cupcakes, along with ice cream as a back-up dessert. While serenading the little lady, she looked at us like we were crazy, not even cracking a smile the entire time. I thought she’d dive right into her birthday cupcake when I placed it on her tray, but that was not the case. She frowned, and then looked at me with displeasure in her big, beautiful eyes.

One on One

I love a little one on one with my big kids. And I don’t mean basketball. I mean getting a little time just me and one of them at a time. I find out more and different things about what’s going on in their lives and their minds than when all five of us are together, or even when it’s just me with all the kids.

My big guys are rather reserved in nature (they come by it honestly, from their Daddy), especially in big groups, and often around each other. They are brothers, you know, with a healthy amount of sibling rivalry between them. But when you get them one-on-one, especially in a moving vehicle? Chatterbox city! And the topic isn’t always sports (don’t mistake me, that often comes up, but they also know they’ll get more out of a sports talk with their Dad than with me).

Letter to my four-month-old

My dear sweet girl,

How is it possible you are already four months old? The time is flying by. It seems like each day now brings a new milestone. In one day recently you both officially rolled over and had your first giggle. I say officially because it doesn’t truly count for the record books until both your Dad and I see it.

Now you’re grasping for toys, holding your head up like a champ, starting to “talk,” wiggling to sit up whenever you’re held and not too tired or eating. I can practically see your brain synapses firing as you are learning at an incredible rate. You glance around the room categorizing each thing and studying new objects. Things are starting to go into your mouth aside from that pesky thumb you found several weeks ago. It is thrilling to watch and yet I worry, can I keep up?

Facing tough questions

This post is a continuation of the journey of the Benson family to adopt two children. Read more of their journey through fostering and adoption here. 

I had the biggest over the top visions and dreamy plans in my head of what we were going to do when we all arrived home and how their whole arrival would be. I mean, they were completely unrealistic but I like to live in my own little dream world sometimes.  

As soon as we got home, David and Grace raced up the stairs so fast they never saw the welcome home sign or any other part of the house to be frank. They saw stairs and literally sprouted wings in search of their very own bedroom. Over the years, David and Grace never had a bed or even their own bedroom. This was huge for them!  We didn’t share any details about their room before we arrived. We kept this little detail a secret from them; we wanted them to have some element of surprise when we arrived home.

Just the six of us

Our kitchen table was covered in markers, crayons, and a huge brightly colored poster board that I believe could glow in the dark because it’s so blinding.  Our youngest biological son was prepared to make the best welcome home sign for his new siblings with a little help from me with his spelling.

As we sat down at and created a welcome home sign we talked about what we might do when we arrived at their foster home. I explained to him again that we were adopting them, and it’s not like foster care which we had done for years. This time, they’d never leave and they would have our same last name in six months.  He was so excited and said he finally had a sister that he could share his afterschool snack with at aftercare like the other children who have siblings. This was his highlight, somebody to share his snacks with!

Treasuring each moment without going insane

First time at a water park.

Right now my sons are 5 and 2 and sometimes I feel like all I hear is how I’m supposed to treasure each moment.

I know I’ll probably lose Mommy points for saying it, but it’s become somewhat of a sore spot. Don’t get me wrong – I try, but when I’m really concentrating on it, I start to get overwhelmed. How am I supposed to treasure each moment when life is moving so fast? As a working Mom, there’s a lot of scheduling to contend with and small milestones feel like they’re flying by: kindergarten Christmas program, a second birthday, Christmas morning, playing in the ice (they thought it was snow and at one point I just gave up and let them play in it.) So there I am, snapping pictures and trying to burn the images into my memory – all the while treasuring. Each. Moment.

It’s just too much.

Meeting our children

It felt like a first date even though I haven’t had a first date since I first started dating my husband 20 years ago. I guess looking back on it now; it was our first date and also the prelude to a few more “first dates”.

My husband and I were both shuffling around in the bathroom  trying to figure out what we were going to wear,  discussing what would we say, and chatting about what questions may be asked.

I really didn’t give it much thought as silly as it may sound but I could tell my husband wanted to make a good first impression.  He wanted to make a good impression when meeting David and Grace for the first time.

Breastfeeding woes to joy

When I was pregnant and people would ask if I planned to breastfeed my answer was always I hope to do so. I had seen too many friends struggle with breastfeeding forced to go the route of exclusive pumping or just plain not be able to make it work. So while I fervently hoped, I also was realistic that it could be tough and that ultimate success was out of my hands.

Little did I know what was in store for me though.

First we’d struggled with infertility (strike one). I didn’t know it at the time, but I’m told that the hormonal issues often tied to infertility can also affect breastfeeding, according to one of the many lactation consultations I met with in this journey. Born at 36 weeks and two days my daughter was a preemie (Strike two). I had a c-section(strike 3) because my daughter was breech. If this were a baseball game we’d be out. Yet the strikes kept coming. Nursing sessions left both of us frustrated and in tears (another strike because stress is about as anti-successful breastfeeding as you can get.). I desperately wanted her to breastfeed for many of the reasons she was having trouble which made me feel like I was failing her at something that was supposed to be so natural. A family friend pulled me aside about six weeks in and half joked that there’s nothing natural about breastfeeding. I had to agree, at least with learning how to breastfeed. There may be natural instincts but it isn’t just getting your child in position and nature takes over. At least not in our case, that’s for sure.

Why Do You Like Christmas?

The task was simple, or so I thought.  For this post, I wanted to ask my kids why they like Christmas.  When the camera was off, the question was easy, but once the camera started rolling, it was a little more difficult, apparently. 

I asked Preston and Emory to introduce themselves, tell how old they are and share why they like Christmas.  Preston went first. 

Preston, Age 6

Oh Christmas Tree!

What a difference a year makes.  This time last year I was certainly very happy and blessed to see Shelby enjoy her first Christmas, but fast forward to 2013 and what a transformation!

Though she has not fully grasped the entire concept, to see her excitement and wonderment over the decorations, the presents, and Santa takes Christmas to a whole new level.  She is fully obsessed with Sesame Street and all of its fuzzy muppets, so shopping for gifts has been really fun versus last year when a pacifier or a sippy cup of milk was higher on her list of favorite things.

What my toddler really wants for Christmas

Jake, my 2-year-old, is finally old enough to kind of understand Christmas. He can successfully identify Santa, he’s obsessed with watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas (Jim Carrey version), and every time we drive past one of the many flamboyantly lit-up houses in our neighborhood he points and exclaims “Christmas!”

But when you ask him whether he wants to open presents on Christmas morning, he shakes his head no. I’m not sure why. I can only guess it’s because he suspects his parents will be oh-so-unoriginal and gift things like Mega Blocks and Fisher Price doodads and not anything he really wants.

Here’s what I think Jake would really want for Christmas:

Unlimited bath time
If he could, he'd live in the bathtub.

It’s The Most Wonderful Time of The Year (And Busiest)

How is it already just a few days before Christmas?

It has felt like the last three months have flown by and I don’t know where the time has gone. Starting with Thanksgiving week until now, we have had multiple things on our calendar and “to do list” every weekend and most weeks.

I wanted so badly to have time to relax and enjoy the Christmas Season at home with my family, but just knew that would have to wait until after Christmas Day. Until a change came our way in the DFW area, 2013 Ice Storm!

Sam’s wearing me out

Sam’s wearing me out. We’ve been doing Elf on the Shelf for several years now, and I’m really looking forward to H. figuring out that the parents are moving the elf.

She’s so close to figuring it out, too. I downloaded a calendar of Elf suggestions off the Internet and had it folded up in my purse. H. was rummaging through and pulled it out and read it out loud. “Elf on the Shelf calendar. Mommy, why do you have this in your purse?”

The best defense is a good offense. "Aren’t you supposed to be doing something else? What are you doing in my purse?”

Attention diverted.

Do you really need your one-a-day?

With vitamin shops popping up everywhere and stores lining the shelves with different supplement products many people wonder if they need to be purchasing one-a-day vitamins, vitamin C, B vitamins and the like. Magazine and store advertisements lead us to believe that we only get vitamins and minerals from a bottle on the shelf.  While vitamins and supplements can help some people meet their nutrition needs, eating a variety of nutrient-rich foods is the best way for most people to obtain the nutrients they need to be healthy and reduce their risk of chronic disease, according to the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics.

Two newly published articles indicate there is no clear benefit for healthy individuals to consume vitamin and mineral supplements.  If someone is deficient in a particular vitamin or mineral, then supplementing might benefit that person by helping them get back to normal levels in the body.

Winter Recipe: Crock Pot Chicken Tacos

Needing a super simple dinner idea in the midst of holiday hustle and bustle? Toss this recipe in the slow cooker tomorrow morning for a delish dinner in the evening.

Crock Pot Chicken Tacos

Ingredients
1 pound chicken breasts
2 cups salsa
1 can black beans, drained
1 can chopped green chiles
2 tablespoons chili powder
1 cup frozen corn
Tortillas
Cheese, guacamole, sour cream and/or green onions for garnish

Directions
Place chicken breasts, salsa, beans, green chiles and chili powder in slow cooker. Cook on low 6-8 hours or high 3-4 hours.  The last 30 minutes, add in corn.

When ready to serve, take two forks and shred chicken right in slow cooker.  Top tortillas and add your favorite toppings. Enjoy!

Amber Massey, RD, LD is a dietitian in the Dallas/Fort Worth area and Mom of twin girls.

Christmas Secrecy

Elliot is 2 ½ years old this holiday season, and his level of engagement compared to last year’s is quite remarkable. Last year he was able to open his presents and was genuinely excited to see what he received. However, leading up to Christmas, he didn’t exhibit much in the way of anticipation or even awareness.

This year is quite different. I knew something had changed when he noticed that our local shopping center had put up its Christmas tree around Thanksgiving time and immediately started asking me when I was going to put up ours. This continued as he joyfully “assisted” in the tree decoration and has generally been in the holiday spirit 24/7 – as the little toy snowman who loudly sings “Frosty the Snowman” can attest. The fact that I haven’t broken that toy speaks more to my character than any public act of charity ever could.

Sharing the Holiday Spirit

Today Santa brought gifts for preemies in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) at Texas Health Harris Methodist Hospital Fort Worth -- little caps he knitted himself! Who knew Santa was so crafty?

He shared some of his caps with newborns in the hospital's mother/baby unit, too.

Baby's First Christmas

I’ve never been one to go all out for presents for little kids until they are old enough to really realize what’s going on. I figure between grandparents and others, little kids get enough “stuff” – and then some usually. But as my first Christmas as a Mom approaches, I find my head and heart are on two different pages.

My head: I want to stick with what I’ve always done for others. Our 12-week-old daughter has no actual material needs this Christmas. She still has yet to even really understand a rattle and she’s got several of those already. She’s got plenty of clothes. And honestly she’s not going to understand what’s happening anyway.

My heart: But it’s her first Christmas! Shouldn’t there be a picture of her with the most perfect and meaningful first present from her loving parents? What will she think if she sees photos and her only presents come from the grandparents who I know aren’t planning to listen when we say she doesn’t need anything? I will admit some of this is probably coming from the dreaded Mommy guilt as I have returned to work.