Monday, December 5, 2011

Lookin' for love

My son and I had a discussion about how a man should treat his wife the other day, and it seemed to suck the air right out of my lungs. I tried to explain, but frankly, we all know that to learn how to have a relationship, to learn how a husband should treat a wife, you really need to see it. Not just on TV, not just once a week with your grandparents, not by watching the neighbors, but by living it. And therein lies the dilemma for single moms. My kid just isn’t seeing it.

It’s enough to make me want to find a photo from 10 years and 10 pounds ago, think up some amazing hobbies and post myself online.

I’ve been pretty conservative about dating, and I haven’t pulled my son into any relationships.

When he was younger, he was pretty practical about my predicament. When he was five, he asked me if I was going to have another baby. I carefully explained to him that you have to have a husband to have a baby (yes, I’m all conservative that way).

He thought for a moment and said “Well, mom, you can’t buy a husband off a shelf, and you’re not getting any younger.” Nice. Nothing like your five year old and everybody else trying to push you to get out there and get in the game.

Now, not to brag or anything, but I have had a few dates over the past ten years (unfortunately, the emphasis is on a few).  I’m just going to go ahead and say that I found everyone to be too dang quirky. Some might say my quirky radar is too sensitive, but judge for yourself.

I have been out with men who:

Pulled over at the end of my street to make sure I was going to put on my seatbelt.
Told me they were recently divorced (as in four days divorced).
Admitted that they lived with their parents.
Told me their soon-to-be ex-wife thought they were an alcoholic, as they drank their fourth glass of wine.
Talked baby talk to their CAT.
OWNED a cat.
Told me that they and their ex-wife fought more over custody of their dogs than custody of their kids.
Talked to me in third person, as in “How is Laura doing?

So, all that to say, the option of my son learning how a husband should treat a wife from me and any relationship I have is pretty much not going to happen.

Now, I hope that he is seeing me love others well, but frankly, in the house he really only sees me try to love the dog. And that doesn’t always go well. Somehow, I don’t think me yelling about the dog’s audacity to poop indoors or me cursing as he wakes me up to play at 3 a.m. will translate into how a husband and wife should treat each other. Maybe I need to dial down that quirky radar…

Laura Johnson is a single mom and freelance communicator who lives in East Dallas with her 12-year-old son, dog, hamster and three fish.

1 comment:

  1. To be honest, he doesn't necessarily have to see you in a relationship to learn how to treat a wife. He just needs to learn how to treat women in general. Teach him to respect people, to listen, and to do his fair share of the work, no matter where it is, and he will be a good husband.