Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I'm Not Ready

John, today, is nine months and three weeks old. He can tell you he wants to eat, he can tell you when he wants to dance, and he knows the names of all the people and animals who live in this house.

And a few weeks ago, a small, barely perceptible change occurred in his cruising along the furniture - he began letting go, and standing.

As days went by, he got braver. Sunday, he danced without any support. Then today, it happened.

He walked.

Now, it was just a couple of steps. But that, combined with some late night perusing of old photos, has made me one maudlin mommy.

I'm just not ready for this. Any of it. I don't mean the baby proofing - we've got that down. I'm not ready for my baby to become this toddler he's rapidly heading towards. He's already a talking, dancing, funny-face making little person. Add walking to this, and the one last bastion of babyhood remaining is potty training.

And I know that his progress is a matter of pride. And don't get me wrong - I'm proud of the way he's figured out how to retrieve toys from under the couch, use "this" to tell us he wants something and "that" to ask a question like "What is that?" or "Can I have that?"

But my tiny baby - he's disappearing before my eyes. And now we're beginning to plan a first birthday party. People told me it would happen so fast. I just didn't realize it happened in a blink!

What about you? Was the prospect of the first birthday bittersweet for you, too?

Bethany Erickson is the wife of Texas Health Resources web editor Tom Erickson and Mom to a growing boy.

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