Thursday, January 19, 2012

Missing Milestones

Like other parents who have shared on this blog lately, I’ve found that leaving my little man at daycare can be difficult.

Well, that’s putting it mildly – I’ve actually found it to be downright gut-wrenching and guilt inducing beyond what I ever imagined. But I also love my job and don’t think I could ever stay at home, either. How parents can make peace with all these conflicting sentiments is beyond me at this point. (Or maybe they never do?) I’m hoping to be more at ease with things as time goes on.

The worst part, for me, is knowing someone else might witness his first giggle, first crawl, first word, etc. instead of me. I remember the very first time he returned my smile and the incredible giddiness/happiness feeling that followed! These precious “first” moments can’t be recreated.

Or…can they?

A friend of mine suggested instructing his daycare providers to not let me know about any firsts that happen while he’s there. That way, I can experience them for myself and avoid feeling even worse than I already do.

I thought this was an interesting idea, but I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about it. Is it silly that I kind of want to know exactly when he said his first word? Or could I just embrace that ignorance is bliss and pretend that his first word was spoken whenever I happened to hear it? Does it really matter? These are questions I haven’t answered for myself yet. But Jake is 2 months old and changing leaps and bounds every day, so I’d better figure it out as soon as possible. He won't be uttering his first word anytime soon, but I think his first giggle is just around the corner. How sad it would be to miss that!

Working Moms, how do you cope with the possibility of missing milestones while your child is with their care provider?

Megan Brooks is a Sr. Public Relations Specialist for Texas Health Resources, Stepmom and New Mom to a 2-month-old.


  1. Going back to work is SO hard. I think the only reason I didn't bawl my eyes out the first two days was adrenaline - but after that, man, every day for two weeks I cried at drop off. I've heard the idea about having daycare not tell you when milestones are reached, and each parent has to decide for him or herself if that's right. I was happy when they told me about big things Sam did that day, and I know that his school could/would call if something big (like walking) was happening if they knew it was a first. Good luck on getting into the working mom groove - you're doing great!

  2. I always like to say that milestones don't count until mommy sees them happen! First steps take place as soon as YOU see them. Always remember that as a working mom you are a great role model for your kids. It is never easy.