Maybe Baby: finding support

This is the continuation of Makala Pollard’s series documenting a journey through the ups and downs of infertility and trying to conceive. Follow her story through journal entries beginning last year and leading up to today. To see previous entries click here. 

Monday, November 22, 2010

When I left off last time I was determined to absorb all of the new terms I heard at my appointment. Here is one thing I have concluded and I would recommend to anyone going through this -- find a support group of some kind. I am lucky in that my best friend works for the clinic and has been around fertility testing and treatment for roughly nine years. I know everyone does not have this benefit, so seek out someone who has been down this road before. It lessens the freak out factor a great deal.

I joined my BFF for happy hour to catch up and of course we talked through all of the terms and tests I had been through so far or that I had coming up soon. The first thing she told me was not to worry about the fragile X testing. As scary as it sounds, it is a pretty standard test they run in the screening process. She said it is just common enough that they need to make sure it isn’t a factor.

The other thing I was worried about was the ovarian failure issue. I pointed out to her that I wasn’t sure I could handle an egg donor situation. I mean, what is the point of that? I still really wouldn’t be involved, would I? She eased my fears on this one. She said that over the years she has sat in on many egg donor recipient support groups and all of the expectant mothers say the same thing: “I am carrying this child, providing nourishment, a blood supply, so absolutely it is my baby.”

She even pointed out the option of embryo donation, which I wasn’t too keen on at first. I'm still not sure if I am but she is right when she points out that it is a cheaper option than adopting and I would be carrying the baby. Again, things I had not thought about initially. Options. There are many options and that is comforting to me.

I of course chatted with my husband about all of this as well, but at first I needed that girl talk. Maybe that sounds crazy but as a couple you are working on this together and with every new screening, new test and next step you tend to panic at each stage. For me, it has been good to chat with a girlfriend who has the information I need to keep perspective and keep me from flipping out. My next appointment will include one more lab test and an ultrasound, so until next time!

Makala Pollard is a Senior Marketing Specialist for Texas Health Resources and Stepmom to two boys.