Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Maybe Baby: trying again, with a little help

This is the continuation of Makala Pollard’s series documenting a journey through the ups and downs of infertility and trying to conceive. Follow her story through journal entries beginning last year and leading up to today. See previous entries: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4.

Monday, October 4, 2010
First let me say thank you to all of you who sent me emails, comments and kind words of encouragement after I shared my four part series, Maybe Baby. I truly did not expect this type of response when I wrote the blog and I am very grateful to all of you.

When the Texas Health Moms project was put on my “list” at work I really felt like I wasn’t qualified to work on it. I mean, I’m a Stepmom and feel like sometimes I’m in the category of “pretend” mom or “part-time” mom and maybe I don’t have the authority to comment on official mom business. Yet, here I was with a project that was intended to reach out to moms via Facebook, Twitter, and the Blogosphere in order to create an online community.

This is where my decision to share Maybe Baby came into focus. I figured I wouldn’t have any “street cred” if I didn’t talk about something that I had lived though that was related to Mom stuff.

The experience I shared occurred about three years ago and I can honestly say until I wrote the blog series I don’t think I had ever truly reflected on it. Brett and I had gone through it, both suffered through ups and downs, it was emotional, it was not fun and my defense mechanism was to put it FAR away for my own self-preservation. So taking it out and exploring it gave me more resolution and peace than I realized it would.

So what is this continued Maybe Baby blog series about? It is another step for us in the journey. A journey I am willing to share openly this time. I can tell you reflection is a powerful thing. I am not here to tell you “we’ve decided to have a baby!” because I have certainly been down that road before. But what I can tell you is that we are going to try. You see, when you have fertility issues you can’t just “let it happen.” You have to seek out a little help. So, that’s what we are going to do. And even with help, it might not work. Whatever is meant to happen will happen. I can say that and actually mean it this time around and not say it because that’s what you are supposed to say

Our first step is to go in for an evaluation at the fertility clinic which will be next week. I did promise my wonderful husband to not be an emotional basket case this time, and I hope blogging about the journey will help with that. I don’t know what they will tell us or what will happen next, but being evaluated is the first step in the process. (We’ve been here before, you know.)
There are some treatments we know we are open to and some we are not, so we will take this one step at a time. So, if you are interested in keeping up with us this time around, you are welcome to come along. 

Until next time!

Makala Pollard is a Senior Marketing Specialist for Texas Health Resources and Stepmom to two boys.

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