Maybe Baby: what ifs

This is the continuation of Makala Pollard’s series documenting a journey through the ups and downs of infertility and trying to conceive. Follow her story through journal entries beginning last year and leading up to today. To see previous entries click here.

Monday, November 15, 2010
I'm sitting at my desk having some lovely soup from Panera Bread and trying to process everything my doctor told me this morning. This was my follow up consult about my low AMH test results. I had done a fair amount of Googling so I wasn’t shocked when she recommended aggressive treatment. But of course there was a curve ball. Isn’t there always a curve ball? I’m starting to see a pattern of the unexpected here.

She went over my AMH and said it came back low, “scary low” as she said for my age. No shock there. When the bubbly lab tech called to tell me it was “undetectable” I would say that qualifies as “scary low.” But then she ventured into a whole other subject: fragile X. She wanted to run some blood tests for that while I was in today.

Fragile X is a genetic mutation in the X chromosome that causes a range of developmental problems including learning disabilities and cognitive impairment. Usually boys are affected more than girls. Whoa. Wasn’t really expecting that on a Monday morning.

Then there are the two other blood tests I need to do on day two or three of my cycle that will help her get an even better picture of my follicles (or lack of) and will help her determine treatment. She said these tests could also help her rule out ovarian failure or early menopause. Wow, more words I wasn’t expecting after my morning latte.

Here’s what I think should happen. I think when you go in for visits like this and they say “do you have any questions?” you should get the option to go for a walk or a short drive or go hang out in a room for about an hour to see what comes to your mind. Did I have any questions? At that moment of my scheduled 15-minute consultation, no. I had done all of my internet research on AMH so I was not prepared for terms like “fragile X” or “ovarian failure.” I need time to go process, search out information and then ask questions.

But, that is not how it works. So, here is sit digesting my lunch, writing my blog and trying to process all of the “what ifs” in my head. One thing I do know is that whatever is supposed to happen will happen. There is a plan and I have faith that with each step we will get a little closer to see what that might be for us.

So, until next time!

Makala Pollard is a Senior Marketing Specialist for Texas Health Resources and Stepmom to two boys.